Psychotically-pink

I don’t know if its the weather, the stress or what but I’ve just felt out of it lately: nostalgic, lonely at times but pretty much content. It’s nice to be able to look back on things and see them for what they are, nice memories. I’m trying to focus on myself more and take every day in stride. So far it’s going well.

A good friend of mine once said, “Ashli, you’re thinking too much. Just live in the moment.” This is my (somewhat) new philosophy. I try not to dwell, doddle or focus too much on any one thing in particular. It’s satisfying. I never use to be able to hook Jasper up to his leash and go out for a long walk and just enjoy the scenery and people watch. I’ve never been that girl (unless the people watching included making fun of people anyway). I can feel myself growing and it’s nice. I’m not constantly rattled about stupid little things anymore..whatever happens is going to happen-there really isn’t any sense in fretting or worrying about it too much. N’est pas?

Basically it all comes down to this: I don’t get my hopes up. A few people have misunderstood what I mean and tell me I’m being depressing or pessimistic, but really it’s not about that. I’s about enjoying every day and moment as it comes. Why worry yourself sick about something that may or may not happen within the next few days, months or even years?

I’m not saying have no hope, and I’m certainly not saying I’ve thrown my goals and ambitions to the wind (after all how could I let go of the things that helped bring about this change several months ago?) I still have goals, dreams things I intend on doing eventually. The main thing is I’m working towards them without high expectations. Things will work out the way they should. The same applies to life in general.

Given my luck I just prefer to go with the flow now. There’s no point in getting all worked up and looking forward to something that may never actually happen. (or worse comes thisclose to happening and then falls through) I’d rather take things in stride, and be even happier when things go my way, than to sit around being a worry wart and be absolutely devastated when things don’t go my way.

It makes sense to me anyway.