Alone Time.
When I’m alone I have too much time to think, to wonder about how things could have been.I keep reading his blog. It doesn’t usually sting too much, but then I saw this line, “I don’t even really like the girl.” It was written when we were still fucking..when I thought things might be on the mend. I felt a pang. My eyes may have stung a bit. It’s weird when someone goes from supposedly hating you, to professing love and wanting you back.
I made my choice. I know that. I just wish I would stop torturing myself. The new guy is amazing, attentive and sweeter than any guy has been before. For months I went without contact with the ex and then he popped back into my life again. Although I can’t forgive him for what he did…at least not right now there’s still a huge fucking part of me that cares. I know everything will work out the way it’s supposed to,and I know I’m better off (like I said, new guy is everything a girl could ask for, and more) but fuck sometimes I wish the ex hadn’t thrown what we had away.
Starting over isn’t as easy as I thought it would be.