Psychotically-pink

to my post about selfishness, I’ve decided that it is neither of the things I mentioned, it all comes down to naivety and ignorance.

I don’t care what people say, humans are prone to selfishness. Don’t throw that culture bullshit.Human nature is human nature. If you are going to make excuses and bitch about how selfish people are, you’re an idiot, and chances are that, you my friend are just as selfish as the next person, not to mention you seem to be sitting high on a throne.

This just rubs me so the wrong way. The world does not revolve around you.

Clearly that isn’t possible since the world is too busy revolving around me and my splendor

But in all seriousness, what is with people lately? Drop the holier than thou attitude, take a chill pill and just fucking relax. Live in the moment, take things as they come and if you’re tired of coming in last, or are tired of waiting for other people fucking do something about it!

If I didn’t have this blog to write about this, I probably would have exploded by now. A few times little fickle comments have vomited from my mouth because I simply don’t think sometimes, but holy shit. I can only take so much and being a blunt person only adds to the issue.

Thank god this all wasn’t happening last month when I was off my meds, I probably would have gouged someone’s eye out with a rusty spoon. My rage issues are bad enough when I am docile and content, when I’m off my meds I am a raving lunatic half the time. I can admit this. Today I can put my earphones in, and listen to my shiny pink ipod and just tune everyone else out.

It’s lovely. I’m just so sick of close mindedness, naivety, and people with superiority complexes (i recognize that I do suffer from this sometimes, but it’s mostly for the sake of humor. I am hilarious.)

My state of mind must be a little on the low side these days because I seem to bitch and rant and moan on here a lot. I need to have something hilarious to happen. If you’re a new reader and you want to read some hilarious story click here. I am looking to see if I wrote about the demise of my last cell phone, if not I will write a blog about it tomorrow when I’m bored. It’s pretty hilarious.

I’m a clumsy girl with bad luck, my life is never dull.

I would wear pink everyday.

I would have pink everything. Well..I would have mostly pink everythings.

Unfortunately as a 25 (almost 26) year old woman, this is odd to most people. So instead I substitute animal print for pink when I can.

Bright colours (especially pink…obvs) just make me giddy and happy. I miss having a bright pink bedroom..though i decided a while ago that it was maybe time to tone it down and try to grow up a little.

Growing up sucks.

Things I will never give up: My Little Pony, Carebears or Hello Kitty

I’ve had it.

I’m suppose to split internet bills with the idiots who live in front of me but usually the internet is down for half the month because they don’t seem to know how to reset their router, and despite my attempts I can’t gain remote access to resert it myself, because they use some gibberish as a password.

I’ll just swallow my pride and pay 43$ a month to have my own damn internet. I need it for school and it need it for my sanity. Mooching off others is lovely, but sometimes i just want to be alone, music blaring while I read my fanfic in peace. Sometimes I don’t play well with others.

This is one of those times.

maybe I’m just getting touchy because I have no internet at home to keep me occupied, so I have to spend more time with others than I’m use to to leech of public interwebs. I don’t know, but I’m noticing some things about several people that are going to drive me absolutely batty.

In general people are selfish. This is something I’ve come to live with, because I’m sorry, but at certain times in your life you do need to come first, and you do need to do what you need to do. You dig? I’ve spent a long time putting other people’s needs before mine, and right now I’m focusing on me. that doesn’t mean my friends and family aren’t important- they are, in fact they’re the most important people in my life. They always will be.

I’m not selfish to the point of hurting anyone, or of blatantly being rude. I just decided back in the summer that for once in my life I’m numero uno. I’m human and we’re generally selfish creatures.

But my biggest pet peeve is when someone else goes on about how selfish everyone is but them. Sure sometimes they may have completely valid points, but most of the time they don’t…and most of the time the reasons they’re saying others are being selfish for are selfish reasons in and of themselves (does that make sense?).

I mean, sure sometimes people piss me off, but if you’re only ever getting pissed off and complaining when everyone else isn’t revolving their plans around you, you should stop and think…“wait a minute, who is being selfish here? Me, or them?”

I’m just reaching a level where my tolerance is akin to none. It’s one thing if you realize you’re being a bit selfish too, but it’s another thing when you’re trying to say you’re a completely selfless person. That type of person just doesn’t exist, and you can’t convince me otherwise. Sorry. It doesn’t make you a bad person, it just makes you human.

I hate you.

the end…

But not really. So a while ago I bought an Acer Aspire One Netbook for school. This thing has been nothing but fucking problems.

Day One:

• Webcam causes computer to cash. I figure, whatever it’s not like i use a webcam ever anyway.
• Keyboard is stuck in french. Finally after 2 hours of frustration I manage to fix it.
• Laptop over heats and restarts like 3 times within an hour
• Spend 2 hours uninstalling all the shit that comes on the laptop
• Spend another hour turning off processes and services that just slow it down and aren’t necessary.

I am like a boy sometimes..I love gadgets. I seriously loved this thing so much that i was willing to look past all of this and just fix the damn thing and be on with it. I’ve had the thing about 3 weeks. It gets the job done, it looks pretty and it is fucking awesome to have a laptop that fits in my purse-honestly.

However the other day the wireless stopped working. I could disable it, repair it, reinstall drivers…nothing worked. I seriously was about to throw the piece of shit out the window. I didn’t even want an acer to begin with, I wanted a dell but no one had the model I wanted, and Best Buy wouldn’t sell me the floor model even though they aren’t carrying said model anymore.

So I borrowed my friends car, drove to futureshop and told them to fix it, or give me a new one. The tech guy lectured me about turning off services, but quickly shut up when I told him I knew what I was doing and he could double check, but i hadn’t turned anything off that would cause this issue, or any important services for that matter (I was right, obviously.)

So after bantering back and forth he said he would just set it back to factory default. Inwardly I groaned because I was losing all y school work, would have to uninstall all the extra shit again, plus the whole webcam issue would likely not be fixed- but beggars can’t be choosers. We went this route and I agreed to come back in two hours (even though i really could have just done this on my own at home). Luckily I have the extended/replacement plan and next time this happens I can ask for a replacement.

So, I bring the fucker home, set her up and get to work. Once again:

• I spend several hours uninstalling all the extra bullshit
• I  spent another hour installing updates (which i didn’t have to do the first time)
• Keyboard is still stuck in french, luckily i know how to fix it now.

However today new problems are popping up. The damn thing is lagging, programs randomly shut off, and stop responding. I am at my wits end. All the reviews I read on these things were fairly decent, so maybe I just got a lemon, but this is a lot to fucking deal with considering the damn thing isn’t even pink.

As previously stated, sorry for neglecting. My apologies to you, oh mighty interwebs. My internet at home is down (and my toilet also is broken..my apartment is broken!!) So, here I am blogging from a friend’s. Somehow said friend’s internet does not like my domain at all, so I had to fuck with my registry to even get online.

And I still can’t access my site email. Fuck my life. I’m working with what I have though, and atleast I’m able to post something..anything really. I’ve been missing my outlet. Writing pen and paper in a journal just isn’t the same. I can’t bounce ideas off paper, in fact most things I write in my actual journal aren’t thing I would be posting on the world wide web. Some things are jus too personal.

So last night I got all spiffed up to head out for halloween. As a general rule I take Jasper out for a long walk before I head out to do anything because it tuckets him out and he just sleeps while i’m gone instead of leaving me “presents”. As I looped back around to head home some little fucker shot what I assume was a bottle rocket or firecracker at me.

What you need to understand is, even though Jasper is ginormous and scary looking, he is indeed a huge pussy. I heared a loud pop (which naturally freaked me the fuck out) and the next thing I knew Jas was pulling me into the street infront of the car. He never does this. I pulled back trying to get him back onto the side walk but he was just having none of it. he managed to wiggle free and he bolted right down the street.

I’ve never seen him run like that. I called my friends down the street and we went out searching. They were in cars, and I was on foot sobbing like a little girl. Anyone who knows me well knows how much I fucking love that dog. It’s pathetic, but at some points in my life he has been the one thing I look forward to. The thought of losing him because i couldn’t handle him at a moment in time, and due to someone else acting like an asshole leaves me speechless. I seriously turned into a basketcase.

So basically I’m trekking around the West End in my sweats, with my extensions in, sobbing with make up running down my face-generally looking pathetic. The whole thing happened outside a residence, so I went back there to look for the little fuckers (i was incredibly pissed off at this point) but no one was there…so i used the front desk phone and left the manager a nice voice mail.

Luckily the manager, Mike, was a stand up guy and he ended up calling me back within about 10 minutes apologizing profusely. They have video surveillance and he had me call the police (who just laughed at me by the way).  By now I had given up and just wanted to go home and wallow over my loss. I think I was about half way home (and incredibly out of it) when I just sat down on the sidewalk and cried like a stupid little girl.

Guess who comes running? Jasper does. The little fucker.

So it all ended well, and I still went out and had a fairly decent time.

Things have been crazy with school, and my internet seems to well..never work.  I am truly sorry my minions.

I promise a real blog within the next few days once things slow down.

It’s been a good stretch of feeling pretty good about life in general.

Today I woke up and I just felt off. Now that I’m home from classes I’m just feeling miserable and alone. I haven’t cried over what I lost in probably..weeks now..but today it just sort of hit me again.

I hate waking up alone. I hate feeling lonely and I hate that I miss it all so much. I really do. Hopefully after today I’ll have another long stretch of being fine.

Well…from tonight really. This is typically what my text convos with my girlfriend’s are like on a Friday night:

GF1:Are you back from your roadtrip yet?

GF2:Around 7pm

Gf1:You back yet?

GF2:No response

Gf1(to my phone):I haven’t heard from GF2 yet.

Me:(In reply to GF1)I will assult her with texts then.

Me:(To GF 2): Are you back yet? My breasts and I eagerly await your arrival.

GF2: Haha yes , I’m back. You want to meet me at (bar) so I can stare at your lovely mammories?

-end convo-

We’re a special bunch.

How is this for a random blog, huh? Huh?!?!

Before:

After:

I dyed them to match the rest of my hair, it seems to be taking forever to dry though. I could really do without the itchy scalp though.  These are just clip ins, so I can’t imagine how irritating having an actual braided track would be.

Ps- Please excuse my pasty tiredness.